Wiggin Pie Eyt'in Contest
It were't neet afoo'er Pie eyt'in contest.
A prestigious event theres no deawt.
Harry's Bar in Wallgate would be buzz'in
As aw't best pie eyters turned eawt.
Neaw, Dave Williams the pie eyt'in champion
Was in charge of orderin aw't pies.
They were aw in a box in his kitchen.
They were pile't up as heigh as his thighs.
After purr'in um aw in his fridge
He heard a seawnd in't front room.
He heard aw this flapp'in un flutter'in
A pigeon was stuck up his flue.
After rescu'in pigeon up chimly
He opp'nd the kitchen doo'er
He noticed aw't praytuh pie cases
Un then he saw't crumbs aw or't floo'er.
He peered in't corner er't kitchen.
Un sat wi his paw in a case
Was Charlie, his small Bichon Frise
Wi a reight guilty look on his face.
Twenty pies, Charlie had ett'n
Un tasted another ten moo'er.
There were praytuhs and juice aw ore't kitchen
Un cases and crust aw ore't floo'er.
Neaw, this put Dave in a pickle
He didd'nt want start tell'in lies
Fo't stop the pie contest be'in cawd off
He were goo'int at get moo'er pies
It was lucky he geet thee'er in time
We con bake thi some moo'er they said.
So a new lot of pies were delivered.
Un contest could still go ahead.
Then Dave had a reight gradely notion.
He thowt he'd go eawt on a limb
He'd enter Charlie inter't contest.
Nobdy could eyt pies like him
There was nowt in't rules that could stop him.
So Charlie turned up on the day
Contestants were lined up wi't pies
And contest was soon on its way
Eyt'in, chomp'in un burp'in
Charlie paused un gave a greyt sigh
Because of yesterdays session
He could'nt even finish his pie.