..Wigan Dialect

A Collection of Lancashire Dialect Poems, Photographs, Phrases & Sayings from around the Wigan area. By Jeff Unsworth

Jeffrey's Catty ( Translation )


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Jeffrey's Catapult

I'm going to make a catapult this afternoon.
When I get home from school.
The elastics broken on the old one.
And I have'nt much else to do.

I have seen a very good two leg.
On a tree in Leyland park.
I'm going to go down there at half past six.
As soon as it gets dark.

My dad says I've not to have one.
Because I killed a sparrow.
But he won't know that I have one.
For I'll hide it under the barrow.

I am the best shot in Higher Ince.
I can hit a can at thirty yards.
I can hit a gas lamp at fifty foot.
And the arse of the next doors cat is not so hard.

When I've got my two leg.
And two foot of square elastic.
I going to cut the tongue out of my shoe.
For this when things get drastic.

You see, I need a leather pouch.
And there's no where else to go.
So I'll have to keep hiding both my shoes.
Then my dad, he'll never know.

So now I've got the two leg.
Some elastic and the tongue out of my shoe.
Now all I need is cotton.
Any colour will do.

I will steal some out of my mothers tin.
Theres no way she'll be knowing.
And if she thinks theres not much left.
She will think she's used it sewing.

All the ingredients now I've got.
I am ready to drive folk batty.
So folks watch out for Jeffreys here.
And Jeffreys got a catty.


Wigan Dialect Copyright © 1998 Jeff Unsworth

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