..Wigan Dialect

A Collection of Lancashire Dialect Poems, Photographs, Phrases & Sayings from around the Wigan area. By Jeff Unsworth

Canine Wishes ( Translation )


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Canine Wishes
The children are constantly asking for a dog you know.
Asking every day
They are plaguing me to death about it.
I shall have to give them their way.

I'm not keen on getting one myself.
You see……. I've had one before.
Chewing all the furniture.
And peeing on the floor.

It will be a novelty for a couple of weeks.
They'll be walking it about.
Then soon they'll all be sick of it.
It will be me that will have to take it out.

Dogs are not for houses…. I don't think.
Slavering all over the floor.
Dragging its backside along the rug.
And scratching on the door.

Sniffing other dogs backsides.
Then licking you on the face.
Running in when it's pouring down.
And stinking out the front place.

And then there's the cost of feeding it.
And it will have to have a ball.
I mean…them two dogs on the mantle piece
They cost nothing at all.

I will have to get Charlie Hines to dock it's tail.
Then make sure it does'nt get fits.
And then there's things like worming it.
And then all the other bits.

I will have to put my foot down.
And then that will be that.
And if they keep on crying.
I'll think about a cat.

Wigan Dialect Copyright © 1998 Jeff Unsworth

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